Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Addendum
My earlier post, "World's Cleanest House" may have implied that Moses did not start working until after I started nagging. This is inaccurate. Moses has been toiling long and hard too, it was just that he got to do the last bit with the added pleasure of my nagging.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Book a Month Challenge: January
Um, okay. I've been really busy lately so I need you all to forgive me for my Book a Month Challenge selection. Because I did not intend for this book to be my pick. But, the end of January is nigh so here it is: The Dark Queen by Susan Carroll.
This month's theme was "time." The Dark Queen loosely fits into this category as a work of historical fiction that takes place in France during the time of Catherine de Medici. When I say "historical fiction" please note that that would be light on the historical and heavy on the fiction.
Plot: Ariane is the oldest of the three Cheney sisters who live in (I'm pretty sure fictional) Faire Isle. Ariane is known as the Lady of Faire Isle and is renown for her abilities as a healer. Ariane is courted (oh, good grief, this is the part where I can't believe I'm telling you I read this book) by Justice Deauville, the Comte de Renard. He is, "a man cut on a grand scale, a veritable giant, well over six feet of solid muscle and long limbs. . . Uneven lengths of golden-brown hair fell past his shoulder. . .Although clean-shaven, his face was rough-hewn, with a square jaw and a nose that appeared as if it had been broken at some point in his past." So he is basically one of those ugly, good looking men. Right. Onward.
Ariane is reluctant to marry this hunk of meat so he (of course!) whips out a pair of magic rings and through a little persuasion, convinces her to accept one. Whenever she is in trouble, she can slip on the magic ring, call for him, and he will come running. If she does this three times, she has to marry him. I know, I know, brilliant plot!
In the mean time, Ariane is secretly harboring an injured soldier, who sought her out in order to implicate the Queen, Catherine de Medici (I think the Queen is the historical part), in the assignation of the mother of a Huegenot royal who is supposed to marry the Queen's son. Needless to say, by harboring this dude, Ariane brings down the wrath of the Queen and she has to use the ring twice to save herself and her sisters who are being harassed by witch hunters sent by the Queen. The Comte de Renard eventually comes to feel bad about his deal with Ariane, because he wants Ariane to marry him for love. Ariane (here's a shocker, brace yourselves) realizes she loves the Comte! They have sex. The Comte does some more gallant things but I can't remember what they were because I got all distracted by the sex. Then some bad things happen and looks like the Comte and Ariane will never get together. Then some things are resolved and Ariane uses the ring a third time, but not because she needs saving (and not as a booty call--how could you even think that!?). I won't tell you how the book ends just in case you want to rush out and read this masterpiece yourselves. So there you are, January's book: two short steps short of an all out bodice-ripper. I have no brilliant literary analysis to offer on this book because, . . .well . . ., it is beyond literary analysis.
(If you're wondering why I read this book, it came up as a recommendation for people who enjoyed The Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant, which I totally did, and which was not anything at all like this book. I highly recommend The Birth of Venus if you haven't read it.)
This month's theme was "time." The Dark Queen loosely fits into this category as a work of historical fiction that takes place in France during the time of Catherine de Medici. When I say "historical fiction" please note that that would be light on the historical and heavy on the fiction.
Plot: Ariane is the oldest of the three Cheney sisters who live in (I'm pretty sure fictional) Faire Isle. Ariane is known as the Lady of Faire Isle and is renown for her abilities as a healer. Ariane is courted (oh, good grief, this is the part where I can't believe I'm telling you I read this book) by Justice Deauville, the Comte de Renard. He is, "a man cut on a grand scale, a veritable giant, well over six feet of solid muscle and long limbs. . . Uneven lengths of golden-brown hair fell past his shoulder. . .Although clean-shaven, his face was rough-hewn, with a square jaw and a nose that appeared as if it had been broken at some point in his past." So he is basically one of those ugly, good looking men. Right. Onward.
Ariane is reluctant to marry this hunk of meat so he (of course!) whips out a pair of magic rings and through a little persuasion, convinces her to accept one. Whenever she is in trouble, she can slip on the magic ring, call for him, and he will come running. If she does this three times, she has to marry him. I know, I know, brilliant plot!
In the mean time, Ariane is secretly harboring an injured soldier, who sought her out in order to implicate the Queen, Catherine de Medici (I think the Queen is the historical part), in the assignation of the mother of a Huegenot royal who is supposed to marry the Queen's son. Needless to say, by harboring this dude, Ariane brings down the wrath of the Queen and she has to use the ring twice to save herself and her sisters who are being harassed by witch hunters sent by the Queen. The Comte de Renard eventually comes to feel bad about his deal with Ariane, because he wants Ariane to marry him for love. Ariane (here's a shocker, brace yourselves) realizes she loves the Comte! They have sex. The Comte does some more gallant things but I can't remember what they were because I got all distracted by the sex. Then some bad things happen and looks like the Comte and Ariane will never get together. Then some things are resolved and Ariane uses the ring a third time, but not because she needs saving (and not as a booty call--how could you even think that!?). I won't tell you how the book ends just in case you want to rush out and read this masterpiece yourselves. So there you are, January's book: two short steps short of an all out bodice-ripper. I have no brilliant literary analysis to offer on this book because, . . .well . . ., it is beyond literary analysis.
(If you're wondering why I read this book, it came up as a recommendation for people who enjoyed The Birth of Venus by Sarah Dunant, which I totally did, and which was not anything at all like this book. I highly recommend The Birth of Venus if you haven't read it.)
The World's Cleanest House
I have toiled, and toiled, and toiled some more, and when I was done with toiling I turned to Moses and started the nagging. The result is the cleanest, most spic and span house I have ever lived in since I moved out of my mother's house. Our house went on the market today, so it is time to ramp up that visualization/universe controlling thing that I know you all can do! If you know our address you can check out our posting on Longrealty.com. In a few days there should be pictures and a virtual tour.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Group Project
Okay loyal Garden readers (all three of you), I need your help. Moses and I are putting our house on the market the end of next week and in this craptastic housing market, we need to sell fast. So we are pulling out all the stops, and I need your help. If you have a minute, I would like you to visualize Moses and Kerry having an offer on their house within two weeks of putting it on the market. Yes, this is group visualization a la that psycho-weirdo book "The Secret." Did I read "The Secret"? No. But I did read about it and from what I read about it, to get what you want in this life, all you have to do is visualize it happening. And plus, Oprah likes it and she's a billionaire. So I am visualizing getting an offer on my house within two weeks of it going on the market, begging the universe as it were, for some good housing karma. Because I am stressed and desperate. And, I figure, if one visualization is good, more must be better. So, everybody here we go: visualize an offer on my house within two weeks. Oh, and also, visualize a decent offer, because I don't want to take any more of schooling on this deal than I have to. Okay, great! Keep that visualization up and I'll keep you posted on the universe's response. Also, if you have any other means of controlling the universe or bending it to your will, that's great, please use that too, I am not picky. Thanks!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Stick a Fork in Me, 'Cause I'm Done
In case you didn't know, me and mine are packing up and moving on....to Flagstaff. Moses got a job at the U.S. Geological Survey, that he is very excited about, and by some weird, worlds colliding, stars aligning, federal-government-human-resources miracle, my work is allowing me to telecommute from Flagstaff with the occasional personal appearance in the Phoenix office. We must be living right, because I never would have dreamed that would happen in a million years. Unfortunately, moving-on also means moving out, which means selling our house. Which means finishing all the things we should have finished two years ago when we moved into this house. Which, for me, means painting, painting, and then some more painting (to be followed this weekend by cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, and then some more cleaning). I took a mental health day today to finish up the painting, painting, painting, and I'm exhausted. And I also have an on-going case of moving-anxiety-stomach. (I send all of my stress to my stomach and shoulders, but for some reason, moving-anxiety has taken up rather permanent residence in my stomach while the shoulders are not so bad).
Probably my exhaustion was contributed to by swimming at an unseemly hour this morning (yes I'm back to that again....nothing kicks my rear exercise-wise like a good work out in the pool). After my swim, out tired an exhausted self pity, I went to through the Starbucks drive-through where I encountered the best drive through person ever. When I pulled up, this sonorous, girlfriend kind of voice that could have belong to some skinny young guy or a large black woman (really, it could have gone either way) greeted me with most enthusiastic and sincere, yet non-annoying, "how are you this morning?" When I pulled to the window, I was greeted by a man who, I am willing to bet large sums of money was gayer than April in Paris, with: "Good morning, Tall Decaf Vanilla Latte!" followed by, "oh, and a blueberry scone, you're going to love that!" and "look at you with your cute short, hair!" Yes! Look at my cute short hair! Oh, Mr. Gay Barrista, you totally made my morning!
Probably my exhaustion was contributed to by swimming at an unseemly hour this morning (yes I'm back to that again....nothing kicks my rear exercise-wise like a good work out in the pool). After my swim, out tired an exhausted self pity, I went to through the Starbucks drive-through where I encountered the best drive through person ever. When I pulled up, this sonorous, girlfriend kind of voice that could have belong to some skinny young guy or a large black woman (really, it could have gone either way) greeted me with most enthusiastic and sincere, yet non-annoying, "how are you this morning?" When I pulled to the window, I was greeted by a man who, I am willing to bet large sums of money was gayer than April in Paris, with: "Good morning, Tall Decaf Vanilla Latte!" followed by, "oh, and a blueberry scone, you're going to love that!" and "look at you with your cute short, hair!" Yes! Look at my cute short hair! Oh, Mr. Gay Barrista, you totally made my morning!
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