Book Review: 25 Shades of Grey

That book? The one that's getting all the buzz? Yeah, I read it.  Well, I read half of it, thus confirming that I will read half any piece of crap if it gets sufficient buzz.  And I have to say, it was awful.  I know you are thinking, "but Kerry, you have an incredibly high tolerance for all sorts of crap, how bad could this book have been?"  Well, writing-wise, not worse than much of the other literary swill I have chugged in my life: for sure the writing in this book is toward the bottom end of the swill spectrum, but, to be fair, not in the dregs.  Maybe dregs-adjacent. The thing with this book is...it was...it was ugh.. it was just.... ARRGHH.  No, not the sex parts.  If you have ever read Primitive Sex One, Two, and Three, or, you know, are an adult, there is nothing in 50 Shades that is really that shocking (at least in the first half of Book One).  I just hated the main character, Anastasia Whatsherface, and hated even more that a female author would create such a weak, wishy-washy, powerless, mostly spineless female character who is so....ARGGHH.  The basic premise of this book is that the male lead character is a super rich dude into BDSM who offers the "heroine" a deal where she will be the submissive to his dominant for 3 months or so, and during which time she will do everything he requires of her, no questions asked, in every aspect of her life down to what she will wear and what she can eat.  And the main character CONSIDERS this.  At which point I started screaming "what? WHAT?!! IDIOT GIRL WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT."  And then. AND THEN. Mr. Billionaire presents her with a "contract" to sign that outlines--in fake legalize--the terms of the deal, and my inner lawyer has a stroke from the stupidity, and that is how far I got in that book.  I have no idea what happens in the rest of Book One or in the rest of the series because I suspect neither Anastasia or the dude fall off cliffs, are accidentally impaled by icicles, or slip on the tile and drown in the infinity pool, which are I believe the only palatable resolutions to that story.  So. Yeah.  I wouldn't really recommend this book.