Netflix, Listen to Me

I really shouldn't express my political views in public too much so I'm not going to tell you what we watched via streaming C-Span last night. I'm not going to tell you about how inspired I felt. Nor am I going to tell you that we read The Daily Show's live twitter feed while watching what we were watching and that I now think this one of the best ways to watch what we were watching (you get a nice juxtaposition between inspiration and humor). Finally, I'm not going to tell you that I totally wish that I could be a writer for someone who does the thing we watched last night. (I have always harbored a desire to writer for that kind of thing--I eat that stuff up and I think I'd be great at it. Maybe when I retire).

Instead, I'm going to lobby for a new Netflix rating system. The current system allows you to rate movies you've watched with one to five stars that correspond to opinions from "hated it" to "loved it." These are inadequate. I want an option for "didn't finish it." It could be a special option for tired parents of young children. Here's the problem: I don't watch my movies from Netflix until after the whole night-time routine of child maintenance is completed: this includes feeding, bathing, wrangling into pajamas, nagging until teeth are brushed, reading a bedtime story, filling the water bottle, and completing negotiations worthy of a G8 summit on precisely what level of light will be left on and for how long.

I frequently get movies from Netflix that I am actually interested in watching, we'll use the recent flick "Into the Wild" for demonstration purposes, but which require just a little more mental functioning than say "Legally Blond." So I sit down to watch "Into the Wild" and I find it interesting. And I can admire the skill in dialogue and cinematography and unique story telling that is in this movie. But....I can't keep my eyes open. I decide to go bed. The next evening, the momentum is gone and I can't bring myself to watch the rest of the movie. I enjoyed it, but I know the dude is going to die at the end and that kind of puts the chill on wanting to watch the rest. I then send the movie back to Netflix. And this is where the rating system breaks down.

One and two stars on the ratings system correspond to "hated it" and "didn't like it." Well, these are inaccurate because I actually liked what I saw of the movie.

Stars three, four, and five correspond to "liked it," "really liked it" and "loved it." Again not accurate. The movie's inability to keep me engaged past my bedtime is an indication that I probably didn't "really like it" or "love it," because if I had, I would have stayed up to finish it. I can say that I "liked" what I saw, but because I didn't see the whole movie, I can't really endorse it with a "like." I mean, what if the ending was total crap? I don't want my whole Netflix recommendation algorithm to be skewed by a movie that actually didn't deserve all three of my stars.

Hence, I need the sixth option "didn't finish it." This is the most accurate way for me to rate "Into the Wild" and other such films. Netflix could then use this rating to from me and others (probably other parents of young children) to generate a list movies "most unlikely to be finished." They could make a whole suggestion category for me titled "movies you might love if you can stay awake." I think this idea is brilliant. Netflix, you're welcome, and I'm looking forward to that big fat check you're going to send me for revolutionizing your ratings system.