Another Anniversary

After my brother's wedding, my mom and I had a conversation about the depth and sacredness of the vows my brother and his wife exchanged and how much more they seemed to capture than the typical church vows we're accustomed to hearing. If you are married in the Catholic church, you basically get to choose from about four sets of possible vows. While being married in the church was, for me, essential to being married, I felt then as I do now that the vows Moses and I exchanged did not fully capture everything we felt that day--we just chose the set that seemed best to us out of the four.
Today is our eighth wedding anniversary. I was very much inspired by my brother's wedding and below is a letter I gave to Moses today. I've debated for the better part of a week now whether to post this on my blog. I am, despite all this blogging, a fundamentally private person and I try hard not to air our marriage on this forum. However, a marriage vow is at its core a public statement of commitment. Since I'm not about to go through the torture of anything that even remotely resembles a wedding ceremony ever again (or at least anytime soon), the blog will have to do. Please excuse today's sappiness, regular programming will resume later this week.
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Dear Moses,

Eight years ago, I made the following vow to you:

I Kerry, take you, Moses, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Since we said those words, we have been in a whirlwind of new jobs, houses, diapers, runny noses, ear infections, sleepless nights, teething, more diapers, sore tummies, potty training, going places we've never seen before, making friends, saying goodbye to friends who move away, losing people we love, discovering the world anew every day through each other and through our son, lots of laughing, some crying every once in a while, and then always some more laughing. I can't think of much that really turned out the way we thought it would, but I have loved it nonetheless. While I might occasionally wish that the whirlwind would slow down for just a little while, I would not trade one single minute of our marriage for anything different.

So today, I renew the promise I made to you on our wedding day and I add the following:

I will be your partner: I will stand behind you always; I will lead you when you need me to and I will follow you when you need me to; I will support you; I'll even prop you up if you need me to.

I will respect you: When you ask me what is wrong I will tell you the truth; I will listen to you; I will apologize when it is my fault and even when I think it isn't (although, ahem, it probably is); I will not demean you when we argue. I will forgive.

I will act in love: When I am the one doing all those trifling, menial household chores that will never end, I will do them from love for you and for our life together and I will not do these things with resentment. When you are the one doing all those trifling, menial household chores that never ever end, I will be grateful for all the work you put into our lives and our family.

I will respect your parenting decisions.

I will laugh at your jokes. (because they're funny, not just because I'm your wife)

I will love your family as my own and I will strive to understand who you are and where you come from because I know that it is part and parcel of our little family and who we are and where we come from.

I will share everything I have with you (but if you could not push this too much where chocolate is at issue, that will make the going a little easier).

I will not give any of your things to Goodwill without asking you first.

I will honor our friendship and will be grateful for you and our life together all the days of my life.

Moses, I love you and am honored to be your wife. Thank you so much for the whirlwind of the last eight years. Happy Anniversary.

Love,
Kerry