Dear God, Please Save Me from Myself, Thank-you

For the better part of the last year, I have been contemplating adopting a dog. I have asked everyone I know for advice and we even had a doggie-prospect come visit us for a day. The doggie-prospect didn't like us too terribly much and ate the wooden blinds off of our front door to demonstrate his feelings. He went back to his foster-family. Since the day of the ill-fated visit, I have been unable to commit to the adoption of a canine friend. I would very much like a running/walking companion and I like the idea of having another living being in the house with me during the day. I'd also like Garion to have the experience of caring for living things and the life lessons that go along with that care (although I realize of course that any pet will ultimately be my pet in terms of daily life maintenance and cleaning which is what makes today even more unbelievable--what was I thinking?). To be honest, I could live without the running companion bit and be very happy with a cat. But Moses and Garion are allergic, so cats are out. What I can't decide is whether I would really like to have a dog or if I just like the idea of having a dog.

Anyway, after the doggie-prospect went home, while trying to decide whether I have what it takes to be a dog-owner, I asked Garion if he really wanted a dog. He said yes. I then asked him, if he could have any pet in the world, what would it be? He lit up like a Christmas tree, and with a look of complete rapture said, "a mouse!" Dang. That is not at all what I had in mind. I said, "what about a hamster or a gerbil?" "No." A mouse, and no other creature great or small could it be. Sigh.

So a month later and after lots of big puppy eyes from Garion (maybe I really don't need a dog?), and a few chores later to earn the money for their purchase, this is what came to live with us today:

Ugh. Do you see its little mousy tail hanging there and taunting me with its not-at-all-charming, rat-like hairlessness? They would be so much more tolerable if they could have a nice little furry nub, like a bunny. This mouse also has a twin that's a bit camera shy. A little reading on the internet informed us that mice are social creatures and prefer not to live by themselves. Check. We went the pet store and asked for two male mice. The lady asked us if they were feeder mice or pets. Pets. She then tells us, "they are a little territorial so just keep an eye on them or they'll....basically eat each other." But they don't like to live alone. Lovely. And exactly what am I supposed to do if I notice them eating each other, I wonder? Because I really do not have a contingency plan for mouse-on-mouse cannibalism. I just was not born equipped with that skill-set. "What about female mice?" we asked. "A little better," she said. Hmmm. Not really confidence inspiring but, okay, give us two females.

The original plan was to name the mice Stuart and Ralph after Garion's favorite mice in literature. I have re-christened them Ralphina and Stuartette, but Garion is skeptical, so they might be re-named. Garion is, of course, elated to have his new roommates and I on the other hand am not sure I will be able to sleep tonight. They scurry around with their hairless little miniature rat tails, and climb the walls of their cage, and if they get out I think I will probably have a heart attack and then have to move out, housing market be damned. Maybe I will have to adopt a dog just to have something warm and fuzzy and not-willies-inducing, with a furry tail for crying out loud, to take my mind off the mice. That live in my house. That I am actually consciously feeding. (On the way home from the pet shop, Moses said I could always get a rat terrier--ha.ha.)