Book a Month Challenge: May

Are you sitting down? I would like you, my loyal readers, to note that not only am I on time with this month's book, I am also ON THEME. Yes, I Kerry, went to the Book a Month site, read that May's theme was "Mother" and chose a book to fit the theme. I read Charms for the Easy Life by Kaye Gibbons. (I know, you all were thrown off because my Library Thing link says I've been reading Lady Oracle. I did pick-up Lady Oracle and then discovered after about 30 pages that I'd already read it--I hate it when that happens--I just haven't gotten around to updating Library Thing.)
Charms for the Easy Life tells the tightly woven life stories of three generations of women: Charlie Kate, her daughter Sophia, and granddaughter Margaret. Charlie Kate is a mid-wife and unlicensed doctor in Wake County, North Carolina. She is stubborn, blunt, spirited, and talented. Her daughter and granddaughter are equally stubborn in their own ways. Gibbons manages an intricate dance in which she endows each character with an individual identity while maintaining a sense of continuity between the three generations of women and she achieves three utterly believable but likable people. Gibbons' characters nearly pop out of the page to walk into existence in your living room; you feel that if you could travel back to pre-World-War II Wake County, you would surely find these women there. I like too that this book does such a fantastic job of portraying a relationship--that of mother, daughter, granddaughter--that has been so central to my own life and own identity (I see much of my grandmother in the Charlie Kate character). If you have a mother or are a daughter, I recommend that you read Charms for the Easy Life. And preferably sooner rather than later so that we can talk about it.

Another Anniversary

After my brother's wedding, my mom and I had a conversation about the depth and sacredness of the vows my brother and his wife exchanged and how much more they seemed to capture than the typical church vows we're accustomed to hearing. If you are married in the Catholic church, you basically get to choose from about four sets of possible vows. While being married in the church was, for me, essential to being married, I felt then as I do now that the vows Moses and I exchanged did not fully capture everything we felt that day--we just chose the set that seemed best to us out of the four.
Today is our eighth wedding anniversary. I was very much inspired by my brother's wedding and below is a letter I gave to Moses today. I've debated for the better part of a week now whether to post this on my blog. I am, despite all this blogging, a fundamentally private person and I try hard not to air our marriage on this forum. However, a marriage vow is at its core a public statement of commitment. Since I'm not about to go through the torture of anything that even remotely resembles a wedding ceremony ever again (or at least anytime soon), the blog will have to do. Please excuse today's sappiness, regular programming will resume later this week.
*******
Dear Moses,

Eight years ago, I made the following vow to you:

I Kerry, take you, Moses, to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Since we said those words, we have been in a whirlwind of new jobs, houses, diapers, runny noses, ear infections, sleepless nights, teething, more diapers, sore tummies, potty training, going places we've never seen before, making friends, saying goodbye to friends who move away, losing people we love, discovering the world anew every day through each other and through our son, lots of laughing, some crying every once in a while, and then always some more laughing. I can't think of much that really turned out the way we thought it would, but I have loved it nonetheless. While I might occasionally wish that the whirlwind would slow down for just a little while, I would not trade one single minute of our marriage for anything different.

So today, I renew the promise I made to you on our wedding day and I add the following:

I will be your partner: I will stand behind you always; I will lead you when you need me to and I will follow you when you need me to; I will support you; I'll even prop you up if you need me to.

I will respect you: When you ask me what is wrong I will tell you the truth; I will listen to you; I will apologize when it is my fault and even when I think it isn't (although, ahem, it probably is); I will not demean you when we argue. I will forgive.

I will act in love: When I am the one doing all those trifling, menial household chores that will never end, I will do them from love for you and for our life together and I will not do these things with resentment. When you are the one doing all those trifling, menial household chores that never ever end, I will be grateful for all the work you put into our lives and our family.

I will respect your parenting decisions.

I will laugh at your jokes. (because they're funny, not just because I'm your wife)

I will love your family as my own and I will strive to understand who you are and where you come from because I know that it is part and parcel of our little family and who we are and where we come from.

I will share everything I have with you (but if you could not push this too much where chocolate is at issue, that will make the going a little easier).

I will not give any of your things to Goodwill without asking you first.

I will honor our friendship and will be grateful for you and our life together all the days of my life.

Moses, I love you and am honored to be your wife. Thank you so much for the whirlwind of the last eight years. Happy Anniversary.

Love,
Kerry

Short Stack

I haven't done this list in a while since the Washington Post has not kept its end of the deal to provide me with stimulating and interesting Short Stack topics. Instead, we've gotten "Books with a Moral Purpose," "Books that Tell More About D.C. Than You Might Think," and "Books with Memorable Graduation Scenes. " Blah. I'm not big on moral purposes in leisure reading (I prefer escapism), haven't read a lot of books that reveal much about D.C., and I can't think of one book with a memorable graduation scene. So, instead, I offer you "Five Books to Turn Your Brain to Mush."*
(1) Warped Passages by Lisa Randall. I heard an appearance by Randall on NPR's Talk of the Nation and I was enthralled by her descriptions of her particular area of physics, string theory. She was on the show to promote Warped Passages, and the book was billed as a sort of string-theory-for-the-common-man. Yeah. I've made it through about the first 50 pages. Turns out there's a reason I'm a lawyer.
(2) Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. This book makes the list because after you read it you'll wonder how humanity has survived the last 50 years of food production and you will realize that, if you are what you eat, your brain (and the rest of your body) are already pretty much corn-based mush.
(3) Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson. Now, I know you're saying, "Wait a minute! You already used that book in a previous list!" I did. It's a big book and I devoted a substantial portion of my reading life to it. Thus, I feel justified in using it on more than one list. This book was dense and intricate story with lots and lots and lots of words. And lots of words I didn't know and have since forgotten. Thus the mush.
(4) Paul Revere's Ride by Shana Corey. This is an early reader version of the Paul Revere story that Garion chose from the library a couple of weeks ago. And he LOVES it. And I have had to read it about a 745,390,234 times in the last two weeks. Did you know that Paul Revere's dog was small because during that time in Boston there was a law that no one could have a dog over 11 inches tall? Yes, that is one of the terribly important historical facts now etched into by brain, FOR ETERNITY.
(5) Midnight Bayou by Nora Roberts. Some time ago, we were visiting our friends Chris and Anali and Chris revealed that he had just finished a Nora Roberts book. Chris has a masters degree in English Literature and Nora Roberts is about the last thing I ever expected to hear him talk about. He said he picked up the book because Nora Roberts sells so well and he wanted to see what her books were like. So, of course my curiosity was piqued and then I wanted to know what Nora Roberts' books are like. So I checked this one out from the library and it was exactly what I expected her books to be like. There were two main characters--a man and a woman--and, guess what? They get together at the end. I think there was also an old spooky house and some ghosts. And now we are all up to speed on Nora Roberts.
Okay, your turn--what books turn your brain to mush? Or, if you prefer, toss in some titles that fit the (ahem, crummy) Washington Post themes.
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*Just to clarify, these aren't necessarily bad books. I'd still recommend reading Warped Passages, Omnivore's Dilemma, and Cryptonomicon. They are great books that just happen to induce mushiness.

Blogiversary

Today is the one year anniversary of this blog! My first post, on May 22nd last year, was about the first tomatoes we harvested from our garden. This year, on May 22nd, I'm watching it snow and wondering if I will ever get a chance to plant the seeds for the blue pumpkins (yes, there is such a thing as a blue pumpkin and Garion of course spotted it and picked it out at the store). I also have three little tomato seedlings from my father-in-law that would very much like to be tucked into some nice cozy pots so they can get down to the business of making fruit.

The New York Times had this really fascinating article on blogging today. I've wondered over the course of the last year if blogging is something I should continue to do. It is, at it's essence, public navel gazing and I wonder with a bit of embarassment just how big my ego must be to think that the drivel of my life is something that people want to read about. Then, I remember that I am not holding anyone down and making them read my blog. (Although, I have recently been informed that my mom is now acting as my publicist and I'm not sure what tactics she's employing. So, if you're here because my mom is holding you down and making you read my blog, I'm sorry. She's my mom, she loves me, what can I say? You can tell her from me that I said it's okay if you don't read it anymore, and tell her to let up on the head lock.) I also remember that I really enjoy reading other people's blogs. And finally, today I asked myself, "if no one read this blog, would I still write it?" Yep, I would. It's just too much fun for me to give it up now. And also, I'm pretty sure that my mom and probably Moses will always read my blog. Or, at least they will if I ask them to. So, here's to another year of drivel from Kerry's Garden--thanks for reading!

The Bestest Funnest Wedding Ever

My little brother (okay only brother) got married this weekend and yes it was an affair more than deserving of the above grammatically incorrect hyperbole. They got married in my parents' backyard, which is on the Verde River. My brother and his wife are young but their vows were heartfelt, beautiful, meaningful, and I think realistic. They included "I will listen to you, respect you, and promise to strive to understand (or know) you all the days of my life" (paraphrasing a little because I can't remember it word for word.) There was also a lot about coming together as one but remaining two people, and maintaining a sense of identity; I liked that and I think that's what marriage actually is. As part of the ring ceremony, each said "with this ring, I give you your freedom." I couldn't have been more blown away if I was a trailer in a tornado.
Neither my brother nor his wife are overtly religious and this was a civil ceremony. However, there was a feeling of sacredness that sent chills down my spine in 90+ degree weather. I've been to very few weddings where I felt certain that the two getting married were really and truly made for each other (I find that at most I just wish the couple the best), but I felt that way about this wedding. My brother and his new wife fit together, match each other, reflect each other, in a way that is truly remarkable. Which is not say that I think their lives will always be easy or their marriage will always be a cake walk, but I think they have a rock-solid foundation and that's more that most couples, especially 24-year-old ones, have when they start out.
Anyway, the setting was beautiful. The bride was stunning. Turns out my brother wears a suit pretty well. Everybody cried. Garion was the ring bearer and stand-in fourth groomsman. The flower girl completely embraced her job and started the whole thing with a totally adorable encounter with her dad as she made her way down the aisle: "Daddy! Hi Daddy!" Tosses some flowers at dad..."Daddy, I got you!"
THEN! Then there was the party. Lunch was bar-b-q beef, macaroni salad, chicken salad, some kind of marinated vegetable salad, black been salsa a chips, rolls, and baked beans. Dessert was a chocolate fountain with fruit, delightful cookies, and scrumptious lemon bars. There was wine, a keg, AND! champagne from France. Lisa's family hosted a French exchange student when Lisa was in high school and both families are very close. The French father contributed 36 bottles of champagne (shipped from France), pate, and calvados (an apple brandy from France that, with one sip, sets you fire from your tongue to your toes). Said French Father also delivered a beautiful (I presume) toast in French that, as I understand it, ended with an invitation for everyone to come to his house and France. Done! Generous-French-Father-of-exchange-student, I am totally on my way! (As an aside, Garion got to walk down the aisle with the French exchange student and she is every bit the hottie you would expect a French former exchange student to be--pretty cute.) The bride and groom decided to dispense with the wedding cake nonsense to which I say, "bravo!" because I can't remember a wedding cake that ever actually tasted good, but the lemon bars at this wedding definitely did.
After this fabulous meal, there was live music from two guitar players and one of the bride's maids who has a knock-out voice. My brother and his wife danced to the Sam Cooke tune "You Send Me." Jennifer (the bridesmaid with the knock-out voice) took it to a gorgeous, slow bluesy level that was so romantic it triggered the waterworks all over again. The bride and her dad danced to "I loved her First"-- more water works. My brother and my mom danced to a song I don't know. Big time waterworks for me; as a mom, I can't go to a wedding now without thinking about dancing that dance with my son at his wedding and imagining how hard it must be to let go of your baby. I mean seriously, I can barely handle the thought of the school bus.
After the the family dances, the trio did a great set of blues based music and I learned something fascinating about my brother: dude's got some moves! I took a video. I know it might be mean to post a video of your brother (dancing) without asking him first, so when he gets back from his honeymoon I'll take it down if he doesn't want it up. But in the meantime:




Okay--these weren't the best of my brother's moves, but I was feeling bad about not getting a shot of the first dance, so I thought I'd take a video of the third or fourth dance. Some of the still photos will give you a better idea of his groove--amazing! Who knew? Also, above referenced French former exchange student is visible in this video as, of course, the really good dancer in the red dress.
After the dancing, about, I'd say, oh, a not-insignificant number of people hit the river (the husband of yours truly was the first one in). There was the garter toss, bouquet toss, and then of course the traditional groom toss (into the river--he'd already changed out of his suit so it wasn't a tragedy). At sundown, the newly weds paddled a canoe down the river and into their new lives. The party (that started at 11:00 am) continued until about 10:00 that night in the delightful way that really good parties wind down where a bunch of happy, sloshed people sit around and shoot the breeze. I laughed, I cried, I cheered, my heart swelled, it was an awesome day in every sense of the word. Here are some photos of this most audacious party.

Shout Out

I don't want to be accused of ignoring my peeps! So I will confess that Animal, Vegetable, Miracle did double duty this spring--it was also the March book for the completely awesome and erudite law clerk book club. Our meeting for the book featured a lunch time buffet of beautiful locally grown and prepared items: farmer's market fresh tomatoes and basil with mozzarella cheese and fresh crusty bread, potato salad (with farmer's market produce), blue corn cookies and corn bread, and two salads harvested from local gardens (one of which was mine and included mini-carrots that were approximately 3/4 of an inch long and about an eighth of an inch in diameter--they were stunning). The lunch was even better than book and I'm really missing having such a great group of people to chat with about books.

It's like living the twilight zone

This morning I went swimming (for the first time since we moved here, ugh--got to work on motivation). The pool is the same pool that I learned to swim in. I think the first time I swam in that pool I was three years old. And now, a few decades later, I'm right back where I started-- one big circle. Weird.

Book a Month Challenge: April

April's theme was "Beauty." I read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kinsolver. Yes, I am keeping with my historical practice of make-the-book-fit-the-theme. Whatever. Growing your own vegetables is a spiritual quest of the most noble but down to earth kind and there is nothing so beautiful as the first little shoot poking it's tentative head out of the ground you planted it in. The book basically tells the story of Kingsolver and her family who decided to eat local and grow as much of their own food as possible for a year. When I orginially heard of this book, I was thrilled because I knew that Kingsolver was Tucson author and thought the book would be full of useful information about growing food in Tucson. Turns out, not so much. Before beginning their quest, Kingsolver and her family moved to a farm that they owned in West Virginia, where it rains. So, so much for sustainable gardening in Tucson. In the beginning of the book, Kingsolver sort of pans Tucson and any attempts at growing your own food there. This put me off a bit, but I quickly forgave her when she clued me in to the wonder of wild aspargus. I had no idea there was such a thing. I also find her to be somewhat of a strident omnivore, arguing that it is not possible to eat only plants without consuming animals (i.e., even in organic farms worms and bugs get cut up and plowed under). I don't know if this the point of vegetarianism for lot of people, but I appreciated her correlating argument that if you're going to eat meat, you should now where it comes from. She devotes an entire chapter to chicken slaughter which was both fascinating and disgusting. I was completely inspired by this book and I'd love give this kind of thing a shot myself someday (minus chicken slaughter and obviously not on the itty-bitty plot of snow covered land that I live on now). I particularly enjoyed her descriptions of tomato season and she nearly convinced that I can make my own cheese. I haven't tried this yet, but I'm still tempted.

Today is May 13th......

....and this is a picture of my back yard that I took this morning.

Gaaaasssppp: First Re-Impressions of Flagstaff

I say "re-impressions" because I grew up here, so I don't think that technically my impressions of Flag from the past month can really be classified as "first." But here are some of the things that really stand out now that we're back:

(1) There is no air. Hence, the gasp. I am really trying my best to maintain my running here, but so far I can only pound out about two miles without collapsing into a twitching, semi-conscious heap on the side of the road or trail. On the other hand, running in Buffalo Park (my favorite spot) is jaw dropping, epiphany-inducing gorgeous. (Well, maybe the epiphanies are more from lack of oxygen). There are pine trees swaying, birds singing, and an herd of deer regularly roaming the park.
Last week, I rode my bicycle to the grocery store (probably 3/4 of a mile away), had a delightful down-hill ride on the way there, and a near heart attack on the uphill way back. It literally took me 10 minutes to catch my breath. It also appears that one's ability to adapt to a thinner atmosphere is related to one's age. Garion has had absolutely no trouble adjusting and I 'd say that within week, he wasn't feeling the altitude at all. I on the other hand am still struggling to adjust. So not only do I get to feel like a wuss, I get to feel like an old wuss.

(2) It is hilly. There is not one single place to run or bike that does not involve a significant hill and I am not exaggerating. Even Buffalo Park, which is relatively flat, and thus my favorite spot to run, has a bitch of hill at the end of the loop. Downtown Flagstaff is probably less than 2 miles from our house, but the giant ogre that is Cedar Hill stands between me and downtown bliss (at least as accessed by bicycle). Also, it would appear that someone in this family thought it was a good idea to buy a house on top of a hill. This means there is no way to get home that does not involve climbing a hill. I am determined, however, to persevere and think that I will have really awesome calf muscles in a few months. Be sure to check them out and ooo and awww accordingly the next time you see me.

(3) It is really freakin' windy. Whhhoooooossshhh all freakin' day.

(4) It smells like pine trees. On the few days when the temperature has creeped to around 70, the fragrance is particularly strong and I am reminded of every summer of my childhood. I love that smell, it is the smell that makes it okay that there is no air and lots of hills.

(5) It's cold. Cold as in today is May 12. There is a storm coming in tonight and we have a chance for snow. In May. Tomorrow's projected high temp is in the mid-forties. In May. I've resorted to telling myself little lies as a coping strategy. As in, "it's okay that it's still cold in May because you burn more calories during cold weather" and "oh, good I get to wear my sweaters a little longer now." These are lies because a) when it's cold I eat more and have no desire to go outside to exercise so even if I'm burning more calories to stay warm it doesn't matter and b) I really prefer shorts, t-shirt, and sandals to wool socks, long pants, and three layers of sweaters and a jacket. On the plus side, the Flagstaff-granola-Birkenstock uniform is really more my cup of tea, fashion-wise, than the spaghetti-strap-tank-top uniform of Tucson. So if it ever warms up, I'll blend a little better. I'm hoping my body will adapt soon or that I'll be saved by global warming.

(6) Flagstaff is kid friendly. There are at least three different outdoor summer concert series coming up and every single one runs from about 5:00 to 7:00 in the evening which means we could actually go without having to pay the price of putting our kid to bed past his bedtime. I can't tell you how excited I am about this.

(7) Technology is not as big a deal here as other places. There is a nice little old lady who works as a cashier at the Farmer's Market on Fourth Street. I feel a good degree of guilt when I grocery shop there because she has to enter every price for every item by hand--no such thing as bar codes and a scanner. Thankfully, she doesn't seem to mind and we had a delightful conversation about her garden the last time I was there. Also, the dude who connected our internet cable thought it was perfectly fine to run the cable from the box near the street through a bush, over the front yard, into our neighbors' flower bed, and over the fence to our house. Still haven't got the dude back out to fix the problem and it obviously is not perfectly fine. We had a thunderstorm two weeks ago that wasn't even anything near what the monsoons are like, and the power immediately went out (I'm going to have to get a back-up battery for my computer).

(8) There are Swedish Oat Pancakes. My most favorite-est restaurant is now officially Brandy's, and lucky for me it's in walking distance of our house. They have a spectacular creation there know as a Swedish Oat Pancake, and it is a yummy, hardy pancake that is bigger than my head. I ordered one two weekends ago and had it for breakfast for the next two days.

(9) The federal court house is right next to the Late for the Train Coffee shop. Score! I have to go into the office to check my mail about once a week, and well, as long as I'm there, I might as well get a chocolate-y, delectable "Mars Hill Mocha" to ease the pain of a cold Monday morning. Mmmmmm. (See, that's where the cold weather=burning-more-calories theory breaks down).

(10) I've spent more time with my family in the last month than I have for the previous two years before that. And I still like them! Last week, my mom, brother, and I met for lunch. Just casually, no big deal. Except that I can't even remember the last time I did something with just my mom and brother and that wasn't part of some big event like Christmas or a wedding.

(11) I am so lucky that I might as well have won the lottery. I have a great job, with a great salary and benefits and I get to work FROM HOME. IN FLAGSTAFF. How incredibly unbelievable is that? My family is here. I get to live in a nice house (with copious amounts of wall paper and yellow beveled glass window). This place indescribably beautiful. Some of our oldest and closest friends live here. My heart and soul sing with a sense of good fortune in the present and memories of some of the best parts of my life as I move through this town. I feel a connection here, to this place, that I have never felt in any other place in my life and I am so grateful to be home.

Really?

I picked this little quiz up off of Grumpator's my space blog and these were my results:

Star Wars Horoscope for Scorpio

You are a powerful character. You tend to be possessive and lusty - which explains your greedy nature. You feel threatened when people try to order you around or control you. You are prone to suspicion and jealousy - but your resilience and passion get you what you want. Star wars character you are most like: Han Solo

What Is Your Star Wars Horoscope?

I'd like to think of myself as a Han Solo type of person, but I don't know about that possessive, lusty, and greedy stuff. Maybe I'm just in denial.

Not Yet!

Today, all in the same day, I registered my baby for kindergarten and then discovered this evening that he has his first first permanent tooth coming in. He just got his baby teeth, how can it be time for the permanent ones already? And how is it even remotely possible that it's time for kindergarten? Next thing I know, he's going to be moving out. I think I'm going to have start therapy now to prepare my self for the first day of school. *snif*